Things I Say to My Cat Several Times Every Day
Did you poop in there?
Are you a “Mister Man”?
Speaking as Cat: I need two hue-mons.
I’m not going in the basement.
Come cuddle with me.
Stop yelling at me.
Speaking as Cat: Hue-mon, I need that fish.
Speaking as Cat: Hue-mons don’t do the things.
Speaking as Cat: I could murder you a little bit.
Singing to the Cat: You are fierce. / You are tough. / Doing things. / Killing stuff.
As Cat Bites and Gnaws My Arm: I thought we were friends!
Are you a “Buster Brown”? [My cat is white.]
Do you want to go in the sump pump?
Do you want to drink that squirrel?
Speaking as Cat: I’m gonna lick that spinach.
Speaking as Cat: I’m gonna get this water a little bit.
I’m not going to turn the TV on! [Translation: I will not open the front door.]
Such a buddy. Was that good dinner?
Such a friend.
Speaking as Cat: I need to put this hue-mon to bed.